First was Megan’s paper. You enjoyed her comparison of two types of writing but you wanted more of a conclusion.

On Ashley’s paper you asked where she did her research and suggested that she mention it in the paper.

For Lauren’s paper you wouldn’t start it because you hadn’t read :(, but then you read it and asked if the force was different than voice and which was more powerful. You said you sympathized with her struggles and you liked the how-to in the 2nd paragraph.

For David’s paper you thought “cooking” was literal, and joked about it (which again, I love). You enjoyed his humor, imagery and strong voice.

Lastly, for Kelly’s paper you offered to start (makes up for not reading Lauren’s). You commented on the creative Q and A and thought it was a little too interview-like. You suggested that she change some of the Q’s into statements.

Overall, again, you were very honest, allowed the writers to explain themselves, and you brought some fun to the workshops.

-Jocelyn

You offered to start the critique of Kerri’s paper, which was first. You asked about her freewriting. You liked the one-liners in the 3rd paragraph especially. You also suggested that she edit the 2nd to last paragraph because it was confusing.

On Ashley M’s paper you said that you laughed out loud at it (which made everyone else laugh, which I liked). You said you really enjoyed her piece, but the 2nd paragraph was a litte repetitive and suggested a word change.

Next was your paper. You were very open to comments and joked about the flaws in your paper, which was cool. Others said your paper read like a how-to, but they liked it and wanted to hear more about humor. It had good voice, but choppy sentences/transitions (the paragraphs didn’t relate to each other). Good first sentence and flow, but a lot of run-ons and comma splices. Someone wanted you to unite the paper with a thesis and they wanted to know why you do what you do if it is so risky. (I know this would have helped better earlier, sorry!)

Okay, on Rachel’s paper you said you enjoyed it, laughed with it and could relate. I didn’t lack voice and was full of character.

Kristen’s paper you questioned about her journal entries and questioned a few other things to point out to her what wasn’t clear to you.

Overall, I think you entertained the class some (which is much needed in that setting), you gave lots of positive comments or very specific negative comments. You were honest, respectful and allowed the writer to explain things before you critiqued them.

-Jocelyn